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Building connection is perhaps the most noteworthy skill we will ever possess! Think for an instance about what you need out of life, and then think about whether you suspect you’ll need some other person in the equation to help get it.
Whether or not you are a doctor, a teacher, a salesman or a knitter, you may inevitably need some other person’s help to realize whatever it is you need to achieve. Irrespective of what you do or who you are, the power of creating rapport in NLP, with persons around you, and with the larger group with varying backgrounds, is supreme, and will eventually allow you to get what you like.
The basis of creating rapport in NLP is that when we are like one another, we have a tendency to like each other! When we are dissimilar from those around us, it is much more hard to fit in, and thus folk predispose to hate one another when they’re different. When you like someone else you are pleased and willing to help them in getting what they implore.
A number of statistical data would have us believe that 38% of all interaction is tone of voice, and 55% is physiology. This implies that most interaction is way outside our standard conscious awareness, meaning a sizeable opportunity is obtainable for communication outside what we consider our standard channels, and this is what rapport is all about.
To demonstrate this idea, take your mind back to a time that you can recollect that you were in a very excited (Visible) mood. A point in time when you were talking or communicating with someone who was in a particularly slow (Kinesthetic) mood! Can you remember how you felt at that time? Are you able to recall any feelings of being driven mad, just waiting for the other person to catch up?! This isn’t to claim that either of these moods is wrong or right, just that it is how individual folk operate.
In too many scenarios however, communication transpires in a scheme where we are unconsciously mismatching modalities. This suggests the primary part of rapport creation thorugh NLP is to build what modality someone else is in.
If as an illustration you are meeting with somebody that is in high spirits (visible) and you aren’t actually in that space, at the least act as if you are.
You can do this by sitting up straight in your chair, inhale from the top of your lungs and be excited. If on the other hand you want to slow down a bit as the person you are meeting is auditory, you can modulate your voice more, and really listen. If your co-worker is feeling Kinesthetic you may want to protract your mood right down.
Try talking about feelings and essentially adjust the tone of your voice to match theirs. Actually get a feeling of what they are feeling.